At least you are making an attempt even though it is not producing the results "desired" (pun intended). The thing that brought me here besides an article I read on sexless marriages, is another article on 101 days of sex. The lesson from the couple that gave the interview and wrote a book about the experience indicated that sometimes you just have to plow through no matter what....or maybe you have to do domething different that produces the result through a seeminlgly unrelated path.
The other lesson is that both of them clearly wanted a sex life back that they once seemed to have. The question is: do you?
You suggestt that you do not feel comfortable opening up to your H. That suggests to me that you actually know that there is something to "open up" about that is in the way. Or maybe its just that you don't sex any longer and don't know what to say or what the consequences of telling that truth is.
From my POV and observation of my W, I think I can fairly say that being sexual when she didn't want to be was far more damaging than just cutting me off cold turkey. She seemed and seems happier knowing that she won't be sexually involved with me than worrying about taking the time to get all sweaty in something she does not want to do.
For some the sexual portion of the marriage ends up being a dead end and most of us don't expect it to tuen out that way.
The Captain
Last sex: 04/06/1997 Last attempt: 11/11/1997 W Issues "No Means No" Declaration: 11/11/1997 W chooses to terminate sex 05/1998 I gained 60, then lost 85 pounds. Start running again (marathons)
