Today I gave H a ride to work, from work, cashed his check for him & took him to the store. We have been getting along well this week for the most part. The cable company was supposed to come to his place today to do an install & he told them he wouldn't be out of work until 3:30 pm. They left a message that they had been there & he wasn't so they left & he was supposed to call back. He ws irritated & I said why don't you call them right now in case they are still close by? He got irritated w/ me & said that I need to learn to stay out of his personal business & life & stop trying to control him. I said I was just making a suggestion & he made a comment about me thinking I am smarter than everyone.
I get frustrated because I didn't mean it to be controlling at all. It is hard to see it from his view since it was not my intent. He is always telling me how to drive, etc but he thinks that is different.
Sometimes I feel like i can't talk about anything around him because it might be "wrong". I feel like we can't even have a normal conversation because even when I think twice about what I am going to say, he still gets offended! I've always felt that part of relationships was giving & taking advice, getting different opinions etc. He obviously doesn't & I'm having trouble stopping myself from saying what comes naturally.
I am also having trouble drawing the line between being nice & getting taken advantage of. Whenever he needs something, I am there for him & don't mind helping out - I am usually like that with friends & family.. The part I'm struggling with is that he seems to appreciate it, but forgets about the "good" stuff when something is done or said "wrong". I'm not helping him so I can hold it over his head & for him to come back. But, is it wrong to expect a little more respect - by the time he got out of the car today after the cable discussion, he pretty much was mad & went in the house. He says I expect him to kiss my as$ since I help him out if he needs it, but i don't expect that, just want some courtesy I guess.
Am I looking at this all wrong? If not, how should I handle in the future?
