Rick, no I currently don't have a L. My W and I agreed at the beginning we'd try to keep the process as close to the mediation approach as possible. From my perspective, it was to get the best possible chance of reconciliation. We had to get this stuff together last year at this time. The plan was that the L prepare a draft settlement and I'd get a copy of it to look over. Now at that point, I would probably involve a L to look it over and tell me whether or not it was reasonable. There has not been nor is it anticipated there will be any papers officially served to anyone. It seems to have had the effect of calling a timeout in a football game where the other team is lining up to kick a field goal. If nothing else, it's made her think about it.
Nickel ( ) - I really think she's working to get the draft settlement put together. My current game plan is pretty much what you suggest. I am praying for God's direction on what He wants me to do.
I have Ladies' group tonight, and I'm leading group tonight. Sounds like this may help to spur the conversation tonight.
I have plans afterward to run 3 and bike 8.6 tonight.
I stuck with my plans for last night and went to my Tuesday night Relationships group last night. I led a group of 12-15 women last night. I think it served to remind me how much I've really changed in the last 14 months. I had this passion inside of me for the topic I've not realized before. If someone would have told me 14 months ago I would have been doing this, I would have flat out told them they were crazy.
Speaking of crazy, I also fulfilled my plans to run 3 miles and follow up with a 8.6 mi. bike ride. I started around 12:30am, under the cover of darkness. I am pretty sleepy today.
My W also texted me to tell me she had to cancel her appointment with H&R Block last night. She still owed them some W2s so our return could be completed. There goes the leverage for her to pressure me about getting anything to the L. We first met with H&R Block back on 3/24. She texted me today to tell me she had rescheduled the appointment for Thursday and asked if I could stop by to sign the return. I haven't replied yet, but I will later.
I'm glad you had a good "ladies' group" meeting. I have no doubt that you did an excellent job leading the session. I bet all those ladies think your wife is for letting a guy like you go!
I can only imagine how frustrated you must have been by her dragging her feet on the tax stuff. I hope she's gotten everything turned in now.
Have a great weekend...I know you'll be GAL like crazy! Please be careful when you are out on your bike and running at night!
I bet all those ladies think your wife is for letting a guy like you go!
I think you're right on that one. Either that or they think I'm for not kicking her to the curb already. However, they do know where I stand. Even through all of this junk, I can still find love for her. It does have to be unconditional love at this point, though, because she has been pretty darn unlovable.
Originally Posted By: ncl
I can only imagine how frustrated you must have been by her dragging her feet on the tax stuff. I hope she's gotten everything turned in now.
Well, she had an appointment scheduled last night, and cancelled it. Now she is scheduled to go tonight. Talk about de-motivator to get stuff together for the L! I think we know who usually took care of things and got things done now, don't we? Frankly, I think she was hoping I would roll over and do all of the work for the D. Not happening. Sorry.
My W also asked if I could keep my S tonight, because she wanted to go to a movie with a girlfriend of hers. I agreed to it. Why? Because I get some bonus time with my S, that's why!
Plenty of GAL activities lined up for the weekend. I think I am going to lie low tonight. I am signed up for a 5K tomorrow morning. I have a community group meeting (we're having a cookout) with my church tomorrow night. I have church of course on Sunday morning. I have softball practice on Sunday afternoon. And somewhere in there, I need to fit in a long bike ride, cutting the grass, and doing laundry.
It's weird to go almost a week without hearing from you. I hope all is well in the Queen City.
Me: 43 W: 37 Together: 18 M: 15 D: 8 yrs old ILYBNILWY: March 2011 She Filed for D: August 2011 She moved out: Sept 1, 2011 Reconciled: May 2012 Divorce Case dropped: July 2012
I'm still kickin' Just been really busy as usual. I will try to get in and post when I can. Unfortunately, the longer I wait, the more there is to update.
My W finally got her part of the taxes done. She called me on Friday night to let me know. Unfortunately, once she turned in all of her stuff to H&R Block, we ended up owing money instead of getting a refund.
When she called me, she was at a restaurant. I overheard her ask for a table for 2, and I heard her friend's familiar voice in the background. I guess it was legit. All I really cared about was I had bonus time with my S on Friday night.
Saturday morning I ran a 5K. Ran some errands earlier in the day. I actually didn't even want to see my W on Saturday. She was supposed to pick up my S around 1:00pm. She texted at 2:08pm saying she had way overslept. I was going to take a bike ride on Saturday afternoon, but we had a good deal of rain. I returned home and ended up encountering her after all. It was raining pretty hard when she got to the house, so I went ahead and invited her in. She asked for a Tide pen and ended up following me into the kitchen while I went to look for one.
She made some comments on how clean the house was and commented how trashed her apartment is. She noticed I was doing laundry and remarked how far behind she is on laundry. These two statements were pretty significant in my mind. She had been so stressed about the housework here at home, especially the house. Well, hmmm...we know where the problem was now, don't we?
Ended up having a great small group meeting on Saturday night with my church group. Since softball practice was cancelled on Sunday after church, I met my Mom for lunch. It was beautiful day, and I followed up with a 37 mile bike ride.
My W was supposed to have my S home between 6&7 on Sunday night. I was cutting the grass and it got be after 7:30 and I'd heard nothing but crickets. I broke down and texted my W asking about the status. She replied with that she thought my S has texted me. Needless to say, when she got here, I was pretty ticked. I tried my best not to show it or completely lash out. I just maintained a calm, cold demeanor. She finally admitted she should have communicated the timeframe to me.
All of that being said, I am in no hurry to get anything together for the L. I have not done anything. I have prayed about it, and I'm feeling led at this point not to do anything.
Got a 3 mile run in on Monday morning. Had my S and enjoyed spending time with him on Monday night.
Tuesday night, I did encounter my W. For whatever reason, she mentioned that someone that works for the same company I do came in to her apartment complex she's managing and inquired about some apartments. It was actually a nice exchange that night. I felt like I liked her a little more than I had on the previous exchange. I had the Relationships (a.k.a Ladies') group at church. I followed group with an after Midnight 17 mile bike ride.
I had my S again on Wednesday. We took the dog out to the dog park for awhile and hung out afterward.
Tonight I had two different opportunities to GAL. I had Men's group at church or I could meet up with a group at the local bike shop and go for a ride. I just had to choose one. I opted for the bike ride. It was a beautiful evening. Plus, I will have my S this weekend and want to maximize my time with him. I also feel the need to mix up the GAL routine sometimes so I don't get burnt out. It was a nice ride! We rode along a tributary of the Ohio River and then along the river to downtown Cincy. We came back over the hills in the Eastern communities of the city. There were some really nice vistas of the Ohio River.
Tomorrow I have tickets to take my S to a Fireflight concert. Looking forward to it.
If all goes as planned, the earliest I will see my W will be next Tuesday.
) - I really think she's working to get the draft settlement put together. My current game plan is pretty much what you suggest. I am praying for God's direction on what He wants me to do.
today.
She still owed them some W2s so our return could be completed. There goes the leverage for her to pressure me about getting anything to the L. We first met with H&R Block back on 3/24. She texted me today to tell me she had rescheduled the appointment for Thursday and asked if I could stop by to sign the return. I haven't replied yet, but I will later.
I think we know who usually took care of things and got things done now, don't we? 
Frankly, I think she was hoping I would roll over and do all of the work for the D. Not happening. Sorry.
thread, but NTX...how are YOU?!?!? Love and hugs from your Texas friend....lc4/ncl
