I do not believe in giving up on a marriage chatter. I'm a man of faith and there's only one excuse for giving up and until I find out that I will never give up. Will continue to endure in prayer and allow God to lead me, strengthen me and keep me strong. But I understand what you're saying which leads me to...
Update #3
I started not being available last week for her not to come home after work then leave me with our son again. Sooo Friday evening after work she didn't come home at all! And didn't come home im morning either. Called me about 11am asking all casual what we were doing? I kept the convo brief. Then of course after work Saturday evening she went out yet again leaving our son with her mom. This time I went out to eat and bowling with my brother, got home early(midnight) but left son at her mothers. I was tired and slept in bed this night. Much to my surprise when she gets home at the usual time of 6am. She asks me to get out the bed. I refused. She asked several more times. I refused. She stated its her bed she bought and its her room and that she doesn't want me in there without our son. I simply left. But first told her I didn't appreciate that and that I'm not walking around telling her not to use the couch, office computer, kitchen appliances, etc. Also mentioned to her again that I need help with bills, which she hasn't paid one dime towards since Feb 18. She stated that she cant cause now she pays her mom $40 a week to keep our son cause she's now working EVERY morning in addition to her evening shifts. I also told her of my displeasure with her ignoring and leaving our son. She told me I don't need to be worried about anything concerning her. I told her YES I do when it concerns our son. Then she said that she's moving out Monday or better yet later today! I said fine then went back to bed before church. Also texted her stated I'm simply concerned about her and most importantly our son.
After church I went to get son from her moms cause she work every Sunday morning too. They had an Easter egg hunt so I stayed for awhile. Later in evening she got there and was just acting normal. Then she left with son to go home while I stayed to talk with her dad for 3 hrs! He revealed that he hope she changes her mind before its too late, I agreed. Then he mentioned something shocking. That his wife, her mother, and him has had issues intimately last year because of the following: Last year my wife was working in the morning like she is now but we decided it wan't worth the money or time so she stopped but while she did work her mom kept our son. In addition to her other two grandkids. Her dad told me that she would be so tired that after he gets off and want to be intimate that she would say shes tired from keeping the kids and go to sleep. And that he almost cheated on her because of it! And that things got better when we decided she wouldn't work in day. Fast forward to now. He is concerned yet again because of same thing.
Then yesterday after work I went home, she mentioned we need to talk later. About two things. Later came and she stated that our son might need counseling because he has started back peeing after he was completely potty trained already. He even, I hate to say it, pooped outside at her moms twice in past week! Something he has never done. I told her this is all a direct result of whats going on with us and that he needs more attention! She boldly stated she needs money and will NOT stop working in the mornings. I said at the cost of our son being hurt by it? She again stated she needs money and will not stop.
Also she stated her plans to help with bills for a few months while attempting to save enough money to move out in June/July, get her own cell phone line next month, and get money for divorce lawyer after she moves out. Then politely asked if I would be fighting for custody of our son. I simply stated we will cross that bridge when we get there. She obviously took it as a yes. And also said she doesn't want me talking to her parents which I thought was amusing. And stated that's all she wanted to talk about.
As stated early I am open to all advice but definitely won't follow advice that conflicts with my faith. And abandoning a spouse in a tough time in not something I will do. Also won't force her to stay. So from here on my sole focus will be on God, Being there for my son, and continued self improvement.
I get along very well with ALL her family. They LOVE me. And the few I have talked to since have all stated that they feel bad and don't think she is right or making good decisions.
I will point out that almost none of her friends know why the break up as she's told them all that WE broke up and that it just didn't work out. Odd cause I had no say so and am completely against separating. But I believe that she can avoid judgmental opinions and chastising by her friends if they all believe it is mutual.
Her dad and mom love me though and are also completely against their daughters decision. I do agree that they are enabling her though. By keeping our son at the drop of a dime for her. Don't know if its my place to tell her mom not to do it though. Cause her 20 yr old sister who has 2 kids is the one who actually agrees to keep him on the weekends while she goes out although her mom ends up looking after him for obvious reasons.
Thanks for reading. Again I appreciate all the advice, it has been very helpful to fellowship with like-minded people. Am also still looking for more women to chime in.
