If you aren't ready for a divorce, perhaps just stopping the wondering and worrying about what may or may not have happened is the thing to do right now. Once planting starts you won't have much time to for it, which is good.

Your thoughts and feeling about your sitch and your wife are going to change and change again over the next several months.

Just sit with it all and see what happens.

Take the focus off her and put it on you.

AS for 180s, begin to practice yoga, meditation, volunteer at your church, or a church. 25 has a whole list of things she found to do in some godforsaken place in Alaska. Read books you never thought you would, watch the movie Cinema Paradiso.

Step outside your box, become interesting and different.

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss