Good morning!! Sorry for the delay, I was visiting family for the holiday and for some reason I can't post from my phone. I can read the first page but can't move to other pages or login.
Kaffe I understand what you are saying and how it may appear but after years of this, and no hope for change in some areas I am done with this unhealthy marriage. Actually after some discussion last night, so is H. He actually sounds as if he read DB at times, it is amazing. He mentions a brand new healthy marriage, this old one will never work. Who knows, maybe he did read it. I can't seem to find my copy
There are some things that are still happening that are deal breakers for me, some things that MC can't fix if H is not willing to give them up. As of last night he mentioned he is not willing to give them up. I choose not to live with these behaviors or have my children live with them (they are very destructive).
We talked last night and he will be moving in with a friend at the end of the week. He agreed that he needs to give me space and realized that he needs it as well. His main concern was the kids and having access to them, and I agreed that it was very important so we are setting up a schedule in the next few days and sitting down with the boys together to discuss.
It was a very calm and respectful discussion. He admitted to not giving me space when I requested it, and asked if he can still have access to the house with my permission. He will never come over unannounced but would like to have access, maintain the yard, etc.
He asked if we can call this a trial separation, and keep MC on the table.
Thankfully for the boys, the friend he will be living with is only 5 miles away. I'm going to do some research to find some free tools to help with visitation, etc.
Thank you to everyone who responded the past few days, I have been reading and frustrated when I couldn't respond
