Light at the end of the tunnel?

[adinva]

I haven't read your sitch, sorry, but it sounds like you really would benefit from MC together, so you have an objective "referee" to help you communicate safely with each other.

She feels threatened or upset by you simply having a thought other than full support for her plan, and so she needs to learn better how to hear you without feeling emotionally attached to a specific outcome. You were really vulnerable with expressing your exact feelings to her and really smart for postponing the talk, but she may just not be used to hearing such vulnerability and took it as a criticism of her idea. A MC could help you work that out so it's perfectly fine and no judgment on either person to discontinue a conversation and pick it up again later. It's actually a really healthy thing to do sometimes.

Depending on how things go with your meeting the T, you might try being more open to her plan, since you're both motivated to work on the R and she thinks the T is special. If you don't feel that connection or like the way it's working for you, you'll have at least given it the respect of a try and that may get you more willness for her to try a compromise next.