The cleaning is a symptom of the greater issue. Her being absent.
Do you get along with the mother-in-law ?
This is what I am talking about with the enable.
She right now gets to do what she wants. When she wants. She can make choices that affect you and your son. Without communication and agreement with you. She uses you and your mother-in-law. So she can party. Do what ever then come home and she knows that you will pick up her load for her. And if you cannot then she dumps the boy on her mom.
If you get along with the mother. Then you need to nip this babysitting in the bud. You also need to call her out on her responsibilities as a mother.
And yes I would dump your son on her when you know she is hung over. When she is tired. When she plans on going out.
As the concern of OM does not affect your thoughts either way.
When you get to the point that you can no longer take this crap behavior from her towards you and your son.
Sit her down.
And very calmly explain to her that you no longer have faith in her as a wife and as a mother. Based on her not being consistent in her actions.
Tell her your moving in this direction. You are done with carrying the full load of being a father, husband and attempting to heal the marriage. You are done with pressuring her to be a wife and a mother. You are done with being with someone who does not want to be with you.
That your doing well because you are being honest with yourself. That you and your son will be fine. As your are done waiting and do not plan on waiting forever. She is free to go off and do what ever she wants. But she is no long allowed to do these actions under this roof.
Then get up and walk away.
I see you heading here.
How long it takes.
Thats up to you to decide.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
