Thanks Bill - I guess I performed a "mitzvah" come to think of it. I didn't realise it until now.
Saw my H this afternoon. He came over to drop off the car. I didn't feel numb. I actually quite looking forward to seeing him. So, when he arrived, it was good to see him. I felt...yeah, I felt!!
He brought some sausages and salami from Germany, along with some pork stuff. It was all very tasty. He stayed for a lot longer than I expected he would. A couple of hours at least. Very good. My heart was more open for sure, but I kept my distance.
I'm sitting here now and my heart is open again and warm. I'm learning Bill how to detach and love at the same time. Maybe I needed to go numb to switch gears, who knows. I feel good though.
