waiting for the other shoe

[JustStunned]

I have been told I have the tact of a hand grenade. So put this post in the context of one person’s opinion. I can only draw upon my experiences your mileage will vary.

I am empathetic to the feelings you posted about going to church, to town and running into the possible other man. I suggest this is precisely what you need to do, even if you not quite 100% ready to.

Push yourself. I am not suggesting making a herculean effort. I am suggesting going as soon as you believe there is a reasonable chance you can demonstrate a calm confident demeanor doing so.

Happy will come eventually, in the mean time this is how you communicate when you are not communicating directly. Show yourself, though you’ve been struck low you are picking yourself up, dusting yourself off, and standing strong. You are the man only a fool would leave. Lead by example.

It is normal for people close to us to want us to move on. Often they have empathy for us and our pain is shared by them.

I took W’s temp a couple of times, before going completely dark. Each time I did she ran further and pushed back with anger. This wasn’t your experience, but be careful placing import upon it.

I had huge pain also, I cried and spent a lot of emotional energy all perfectly normal nothing to be ashamed of. The shower is a fine place, you are not the first, nor do I suspect will you be the last.

Some of that pain may have come from expecting her to respond immediately. Realistically she may not have had her phone near her, she may have been driving, she may have contemplated her response if any, she may have, she may have,…. Speculation will make it harder for you to do the work you need to do. Avoid getting wrapped around that axle.

She is treating you so cool because she is. You do not have control over how she treats you. You do control how you act. I suggest acting, not reacting, have a plan, for curve balls will be thrown and you have to decide if you are lying off them before they get close. Sorry baseball season just started.

It will take as long as it takes. There is no timeline or example to point to that I have found. As you can only control yourself and your actions how are you spending your time? What are you doing? I grew up in a farming family. I am familiar with dairy, and produce. I know how busy this time of year is and how much my mind was free to wander during field preparation.