"IF"

[gunny]

Hello 25,
Sorry it has taken me so long to get back with thoughts on your questions,
I have had alot of time to reflect on what my w did not get in the m. She said, and I beleive, that she was looking for a connection, and she felt connected to Ohio, where she grew up. She is now living next door to her sister, who she is very close to. We are slowly starting to talk a little more substantially even while the paperwork is in progress. I believe she may have shaped her personality and lifestyle to conform to what she though I wanted, because she is a classic people pleaser and I can have a strong personality sometimes(not mean or aggressive, just strong willed). But really have not changed a great deal from when we were first married, We talked about not having kids befoe we got married, and she agreed that kids were not in her plans, but I think that changed as she approached her early forties, I think she regretted not having them.

Its almost as if she was in a deep freeze during our marriage, and as the years went along she started to defrost, and ever so slowly her real base self emeerged. For whatever reason, she believed that this person was incompatible with our marriage, It must have been exhausting for her, living a charade. I can perfectly understand where she was coming from, I only wish that I had been given the chance to work on our perceived issues. Its a shame to throw away 14 good years, and someone, (me), who literally would have given their life for their spouse. In the course of our lives, how often can we say this about anyone?

I thought I was her best friend, and I believe we are truly blessed if we have one truly best friend in our lives. Are we that rich in friends that we can afford to discard them awhen times get a little tough?

Thanks for listening, hope this has offered some insight, not sure that it is not me just venting!