I just want to be friends...

[breakdownbill]

I just realised, his mother is working hard on her end. They keep making food that is from my culture, and this can only be his mom communicating with me through food. She is an excellent cook, as I am and so is he (when he applies himself). In 17 years, she has never asked me for recipes - she knows it all. Honestly, the best cook outside a restaurant I've ever come across - second to Martha Stewart. But my H has clearly been being asked to ask me for recipes - hence all the recipe requests lately. I should take some lessons from the older ladies - they are pretty savvy. My own mother is pretty savvy too.

His mom came down with cancer in December and despite the fact that he broke up with me on 31 December 2011, I went to see her in January 2012. She and I aren't terribly close - but we were friendly all this time. She isn't the kind of person you can get close to anyway - kind of domineering, cold but ever so polite about it all.

I actually went with my H to visit her, and I made sure - along with my parents - that she had proper medical care and medical advice. I'm the kind of person that doesn't allow anything get in my way if there is a health issue on the table. That is one of my values. YC - this showed real character!! - no wonder your MIL is fighting your corner, she's seen the real you & is subtley trying to show your H that only the strongest, kind and morally sound people would do such a selfless thing in such an adverse situation.
Nothing is more important than health - provided of course the person wants the help themselves.

My H didn't feel comfortable with me going with him, but I told him he needed to deal with it and that he wasn't going to get in the way of my 17 year relationship with his mother so I was going whether he liked it or not. He dealt with it. We drove together and we ended up having a good trip.

I knew that was potentially the last time I'd see her as well.

His mother was highly appreciative of me helping her during that time.

Hey YC

Sometimes it stinks being a guy and not being able to see what's good and pure in this world. What you did for your MIL was incredibly brave and selfless, you are a good woman, not many people would swallow their pride and do what you did. I'm proud of you YC, you have a good heart.

You just keep up the good work with your 180's & GAL & stay focused on you & good things will happen in time.

Bill