I think you are doing really well. And yes, OW is still playing around. I can't tell you how many times OW and xh broke up, and always got back together again. It appears to be over now, but I am not putting money on it. fortunately he is not in my life at all any more, except for a few stray financial dealings.
One suggestion. You do seem to be after him, asking him what the matter is, how he is etc. I suspect to a MLCer that does not come across as concern, but interference, which he resents. Remember back to your teenage kids? 'Are you OK' can be sooo misinterpreted by them.
Just leave him alone, and do not speak unless he speaks to you, and then reply as briefly as possible. Most of the time they want to pick a fight about something. If you do need to talk, keep it factual, with no emotive overtones/content at all. 'How are you' is not only intrusive to them, but it is asking a question they can't even answer!
You can't fix him, and the best thing for most MLCers is to leave well alone, to the point of ignoring them. This will sound hard to you, I suspect, and somewhat uncaring, but it is part of your disengagement from him. Imho he has a long way to go before he sorts himself out. The OW, remember, is a symptom, not a cause.
Many people go on believing that once OW is out of the picture normality stands a chance of being restored. But this is often not the case . . . If he finishes with her, he will likely still be crazy!
The only thing I can say is that it does get better, much much better. I can now clearly see that my xh is a sad messed up person, and I am so much better off without him in my life. Since I had a long and happy marriage this took a bit of getting used to. The change that MLC can exact is extraordinary. But it took a very long time to reach that total acceptance, and for it not to be a daily struggle.
