W told me she is done & doesn't love me anymore-P2

[Snowman]

Well I got into a little bit a a heated text battle with my W a day or so ago. My W likes to call to talk to my S at random times everyday and while I'm fine with it also makes things hard because I have to explain to my S where she is every time.

Anyway my W called and talked to my S and hangs up immediately so she can avoid communication with me. I texted her to inform her the doctor office called to give her results from her appointment and to say that it would have been nice if she could of informed me of her decision about moving ahead with the divorce instead of hearing it from my lawyer like I politely asked her last time we talked. She said she had called the doctors office for the results, thanks and that she didn't want to have the conversation over the phone. I'm sorry. My thoughts are she would rather just let me find out through her lawyer rather than telling me because she is chicken, my opinion.

I said I put myself out there and I know my problems but I don't feel like you ever did that which is your choice but this was not all me. (I know this was probably not the best thing to say but I'm done taking all the blame for this). I don't want to live this open marriage anymore so if what you are doing makes you happy then so be it. I'm a work in progress but so are all of us. Your cold reaction to me lately sends enough message. I wish you were honest about all the other guys through all this as I feel like you made me compete but oh well.

She said back-I'm sorry, but I do feel this is best for me. I can't go back to feeling like crap all the time. I know you say you have Changed and that's great but I can't do it.

Me-Well I'm sorry you feel that way and that you always felt like crap. I have changed but saying that means nothing only actions do. Have you changed? I don't want you to "do it anymore" but neither do I. That life is over. I want to start over but that is up to you. (She did not respond).

I know I'm going to get 2x4's for this but I telling you the truth to what I said, partially because I'm tired of her manipulation of me and these games. I most likely let my feelings get the best of me for part of it but I was also honest as well. I'm tired of being responsible for her feeling like crap or her anger. I'm not taking it anymore and I'm tired of being the nice guy that apologizes for everything (I know I did in this text) and a fixer which I know I was. Sorry for the partial vent but I'm done living like this anymore. I choose to detach (which I still have some more work to do) and move on.