The theme of my W's feedback during conflict is that I don't give enough praise, and that I'm too fussy and critical. She gets frustrated cooking for me because I'm too honest about what I think, or look for what I don't like and don't appreciate the person who did the cooking. She threatens to quit cooking for me.
I'm also trying to hold onto myself with our dancing conflict. I prefer ballroom and she prefers salsa. They are two different dance communities. The ballroom community is more couple oriented and the men are less skilled. The salsa community is more open to mixing, so my W gets more dances. I think we need both communities to nourish our dance partnership. She threatens to quit ballroom when she has a slow night. I'm applying the concept of "hold onto yourself", doing what I can to keep her happy at the ballroom events, and giving her space to work some of it out on her own, rather than feeling like it's completely my responsibility to solve her problems. A change I've made is to agree to go to late night Salsa venues on the weekends, even after an evening of ballroom dancing.
She has been cooking for me more often, which I think is a good sign that the R is improving. We both have been pushing ourselves more often to get out to constructive activies, even when we're tired or have been fussing, and have been rewarded everytime.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
