Divorce....with a side of crazy...

[imthemom]

I COMPLETELY get the surreal feeling...thats how I felt sitting at the stop light watching him kiss her in the parking lot of her work...I thought OMG..there is my husband kissing a girl in a parking lot...i was in shock for about 20 minutes and then cried hysterically for the next 12 hours...thank gawd my son was at a friends house. I had a complete break down and still feel sick just thinking about it...

I force myself to smile and be really friendly when I see him, he doesnt know how to act since he had me served with his purposal from his lawyer and they came after me with a sledge hammer, and even that day I acted like nothing happened and was sweet as pie to him. I decided that if he wants to be hatefull to me thats his choice, if he wants to treat me like IM the one who did something horrible to him, thats his choice to....what ever...

Im so lucky with my Crossfit gym...Ive been with them for 2 and half years and have made great friends...my STBX always paid for it for my bday present even after we seperated because he knew how much I loved it. As soon as he met ow that all stopped but when I told the owner that I just couldnt afford it anymore he insisted that I not quit and has let me go no charge for the past 8 months...I stopped going for 5 months after I found out about ow, I was a mess and just was not motivated. He started calling me and pushing me to get into the gym and I finally started back a few weeks ago. I do feel better when Im working out so Im back at it but I feel like a jerk for not paying so Ive told him as soon as I get my support setteled I would either start paying again or just except that I cant afford it and quit. we will see, depends on how much I get...I did Taekwondo for 7 yrs and am a brown belt, was going for my black belt when I quit but I loved it...have thought about going back to that if I cant do Crossfit anymore. Ive often had fantasies about getting ow in a room and "practiceing" my technique....of course that will never happen but a girl can dream right??? LOL!

Im not looking forward to tomorrow...but it will be there weither i like it or not. Its just a day, it has no power over me...its what I make it I know this...