A week ago I started having some intense nightmares about the following scenarios:
1. The day H dropped the bomb 2. H starts acting like he did when he was going through his mlc 3. H starts seeing a woman at work, then I find out
I wake up with chest pains, sweating, heart racing and feeling sick. I never realized how terrified I still am inside of this happening again. I've just been pushing the fear down and trying to go forward. I think I need to deal with these fears.
I talked to H about it and he felt horrible about this, and has tried to be reassuring that he truly wants our M and that last summer he "was mistaken and wrong" about wanting to leave me.
No matter how reassuring he is, the fear and anxiety takes over in my sleep.
Went to my counselor a few times and she feels I have PTSD. I'm on celexa and ativan and it's not doing a thing for me.
I woke up this morning after one of these nightmares. It was so intense, I woke up and cried my eyes out. The rest of the day I just did not want to be around H. All I could feel is fear inside.
Why is this happening now, when H and I have gotten so close again and things are going good?
H has been in a good place, feels confident about our M .... but here I am feeling so much fear all over again.
