You are so right, I never thought about it that way but it's true. All of us have put a tremendous amount of energy into acceptance and forgiveness of someone that's betrayed us and not a clue as to what's really going on with themselves.
I picked up a little book called The healing power of Forgiveness today. As I was reading it, all the sudden I had this burning impression that my stbx had/has been burdened with the inability to forgive all that had happened to him a few years ago. I think that could be the catalyst for his MLC, and partially why he held me ultimately responsible for his happiness/unhappiness. Of course I tried talking to him about this, and I know he listened, but Im not sure just where he arrived as to how he felt about it.
Im glad you're reading the Jed Diamond book. I find it very helpful to get this information from a man himself that's been through it. I also have two great posters on my thread that have really helped me understand a few things from a man's point of view.
For me, understanding = issue resolution = release of anger, and finally forgiveness.
I want to much to let all this anger and resentment go, but I can see Im really going to have to work on it.
So once again Im rolling up my sleeves and getting to work!
