Stuck in Holding Pattern

[ben11]

Thanks Busto.

I don't feel like I was smothering her too much but obviously all the attention I was giving her seemed too much for her. Other than hugging upon going our separate ways, I havent been affectionate nor dropped any ILYs or talked about the future. Didn't even mention the possibility of us moving in to a new place, which our MC wanted us to talk about.

I gotta say, it's really starting to bug me. She gave me a card around Valentines day saying how she knows how her selfishness drove a wedge in our marriage, and now, after agreeing to this reset plan, it seems nothing has changed. It just really makes me wonder if she's changed at all... Maybe it's common that the WAS seems a bit behind in changing because they don't even realize the things that need changing, I dunno.

I honestly feel like going totally dark again just due to pure frustration but then I'm also going against the plan that we agreed on and it would probably do more harm than good. Or just send her a message saying if shes not going to put the effort in then I'm out. I wont act on these options, but they are on the forefront of my mind no doubt.

Part of me thinks she agreed to this whole reset just because she felt like I was moving on. It wasn't that she wanted to really start working on things, but just didn't want me to move on. Drag me into another few months of limbo.

Okay, I'm done venting. Time to go enjoy the beautiful weather. Already played hockey this morning, time to get on the bike and knock out some kilometers.