Spinning, neglect, loss and the bomb

[ouroboros]

It usually comes in spoonful sizes. There are certain things that will take time to correct or rebuild. For instance, changing the passive behavior takes time, but even moreso to convince her that you won't be that passive man any longer. The reason being, you can't prove it by words. She'll have to see for herself, and that takes time.
Success can start by catching a certain look in her eyes. Hearing a particular tone in her voice. Seeing her be more cooperative with you. This can be small glimpses of success, but it can also become an unhealthy pattern a LBH falls into by watching her too closely for reactions and reading into her every look or word.

Yeah, got it--I'm definitely not overanalyzing it as best I can.
And some of those little glimpses are happening, although sometimes they are followed by a quick retreat the next day by W.
But, it's my style to take on anything with the end in mind.
So, part of it is my wondering what the way out of this might look like--and I have a specific concern.

W is not exactly stubborn, but will frequently avoid deep interactions.
And, I'm reasonably sure there's an EA going on.
So, I'm concerned that even if she does get on board to reconcile, she might hesitate because of the emotional weight and effort it took to confront me in the first place.
I guess I'm wondering, well, just what this might look like if W starts trying to really come back to the M, but is up against that wall.
Would it be a shrug and a hug? Crying remorse? Anger?

I think I'm concerned it'll look like avoidance. Just W's same 'sweep it under the rug' kind of attitude that was one of the moving pieces in this puzzle.

One of the biggest signs that progress is being made is when you are able to look into her face and see that she truly "wants" to be with you (not b/c some C assigned her to work on being together), she wants to go do whatever you want to do and hang out where you decide. But here's an important issue: She wants you to be decisive and not lay back and tell her you're fine with whatever she wants. Women don't like that. Once in a great while is fine, but not all the time.

I don't think you were passive before M, or she would not have M you (unless she just wanted to get M to anyone, b/c it goes against thee nature of the woman.

Interesting--I've definitely been more decisive about things lately.
And, she's not shying away from spending time with me.

That said, I think she may have also gone on a date the other night.

How does success look? Do you know how respect looks? If so, then you will recognize success.

I wonder if it would look like gratitude.