Time to make a decision

[Queen_of_Swords]

Hi all.
It has been 32 months since my H left our home.
This weekend he has the children for five days.
I have been going back and forth about ending this marriage for a long time.
I wanted to preserve my marriage. There is no marriage to preserve except that which is on paper.
I wanted to fight for my family. My family broke the day he left, now the kids alone are my close family.
I felt he and "we" were worth the fight. I no longer feel that way. He is not the person I knew, he will not be the man I married again. I have changed significantly as well and I am not the woman he married ( I'm better).

There is no we. He is not my friend, my lover or someone I can count on. he does not wish to be any of these things.


H is deep in MLC land and peeks out occasionally. He still isolates himself and is as distant as he can make himself without moving to another city/country.

I have a hard time caring.

He has his life, I have mine and it only intersects where the children are concerned. There is co-operation there although he makes little effort to extend himself, beyond the pleasantries it would require in dealing with a stranger.

I am pleasant,kind,generous,accommodating,understanding and friendly.
None of what I have done,or who I have become has made one bit of difference. It can't when MLC is involved. It is a journey they must travel alone, and they abandon and demonize us to do it.

So. Here I am, on the razor's edge, deciding not just my future, but that of my kids. Wish me luck in making a good decision.