Just hoping that brought a slight smile to your face. I think you need it.
DIM, you are one of many on this board who are re-thinking their sanity and desire to be or stand for their M right now...
It is OK to question what you want. It is even OK to rationalize wanting out and even leaving the M on purpose.
But just make it because you choose to. Not because of blame of your H. Not because of blame of OW. Not because your friends or family may not forgive your H.
That's the tough decision, but it's the responsible way.
Let me just say, forget about trying to pin him in the "bad guy" group because you think he was trying to control you.
Also, it doesn't matter if he was or was not OK with you going. It would have been up to you to find appropriate care for D0.9 and you did so. Even if you put the offer to him if he could and wanted... so again... it really is neither here nor there whether we was or was not "ok with that thought...
Let me be clear about that. I'm not pointing at him when I said the above... That was very much directed at you. That you need to not worry about whether he was or was not OK with that thought and ALSO VERY IMPORTANT IF NOT MORE SO, that you not judge him because he was simply stating his mind... because it was not relevant... being angry with him for verbalizing a thought is up to you... and it probably cost you more to be angry then him to off handedly state his thought...
I hope that makes sense...
You are owning a lot of responsibility and issues that are not yours to own...
Let go of what your friends and family might or might not think...
Let go of whether or not your H is being a dink...
Let go of that which you cannot control...
Stop owning that crap...
Drop the rope...
Get back to loving you and loving D0.9
Life will get better, again...
And whatever the future may hold... deal with it as it comes... one little bite at a time...
