Hi GM...with MLC, you are dealing with a teenager...at best...as I have learned, so keep those expectations super-low (as in zero).
So, with all your change in circumstances and LIFE...maybe prioritize...
Kids and job...HIGH priority H's crap...LOW Attorney...MEDIUM (?? haven't been there myself, so IDK) House Disarray...LOW
etc, etc...YOU know best for YOU, YOU make your OWN priorities now.
None of us here deserve what we have been given in totality, though we did have some responsibility for the M's demise, and that must be acknowledged and worked through, look at my sitch for what I am taking responsibility for as an example. Man, it was hard to accept that about myself, harder than it was to actually fix myself, in the end. I had to really look at and work that aspect to finally emerge out of victim-mode (but that's just me, who became the LBS out of the blue (as the one who was the provider for the family and SAHM).
You interrupted his perfect plan that HE made without taking into consideration all possible responses from YOU...NOT your fault, he should have taken all possibilities into consideration...but you will get the MLC spew, blow-off, blame, etc, etc.
YOU have taken the first necessary steps to move on without him (job, etc), and he will not be there for a while, if ever. I shy away from saying that, though it is in the realm of possibility, because I am an optimistic person and believe all problems have a solution...I have learned though, that not every problem is my problem to solve via my W's MLC...it is THEIR problem...please get that...at the end of the day, it is THEIR problem. Acknowledge your part, but focus on THE KIDS and YOU.
They are own their own journey, you weren't invited, but you do get your OWN journey...people have said on here to look at this as a gift...a gift of time...to remember, re-invent YOU, to re-learn, re-create YOU...that you may not have received if things remained status-quo.
The advice on this forum does work, YOU have to regain YOU, and accept this reality (as much as it blows chunks), for YOU, and your kids.
Some one here posted the following:
Quote:
Ever wonder if maybe…..just maybe, you were chosen to deal with this because a greater power knows that inside….. you can handle this?
Let that sink in...
YOU can do this!
T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
