I guess my H is going to punish me for our spat on the phone the other night. Basically, I gave him a reality check and he dealt with that by hanging up. He got paid today and even though he has systematically put money in the bank to cover the mortgage and bills he hasn't done it. He continues to traumatized me. After everything else that he's done now I have to worry about how to pay bills. I also need to pay my attorney a retainer so that she can respond to the divorce that he dragged me into. Can I also say, after working all week (forgive me, but I'm not use to this) I'd like a stay-at-home spouse like he had and didn't appreciate. I'm dead tired and emotionally exhausted and I'm faced with kids that need dinner and attention, a house that's in disarray, etc. What happened to my life??? What did I do that was so horrible that I deserved this? I know I will adjust and get through this, but I'm feeling resentful for being put in this situation while my H controls the money (at least for the moment), he only has to take care of himself and he likely has a gf or is at least dating. How would I even do that if I wanted to since I'm raising two kids on my own. I continue to read about MLC just so I can be reminded that my H isn't well otherwise I'd continue to drive myself crazy wondering what I could have done differently.
