It's been well over a week since I last updated but I wanted to let you know what's going on.
Greenblue: thanks for the good advice. I am getting the "Primer" book that was promoted on marriedmansexlife.com - I am looking forward to reading.
My WAW and I had dinner last week prior to a scheduled vacation I took (alone) with my family. We had a great dinner and a nice time and following dinner, things started getting physical. After kissing me, my W (who had been very forward the entire evening) said something that really bothered me: "I don't know... you're so attractive and I love being with you, but I just don't feel "it" right now." We carried on some conversation and I slept over at her place since I had a few drinks. Regardless, we slept together. I have absolutely no idea how all this came together, but that's what we did.
The following evening, my W was on my side of town for a friend's daughter's birthday party and I invited her over for a bite to eat. She slept over that night and even drove me to the airport to catch my flight the next morning.
During my trip, we sent frequent text messages. I tried to keep things light and playful. She mentioned on numerous occasions that she really missed me. Even called me "sweetheart" in a few of the messages. I'm back in town now and really don't know where to go from here.
I feel like I've neglected the 180s I should have been consistently doing. I feel like I gave into the temptation to be with my W. But we are married and this IS what I want. But I want to be wanted, respected. sought after. I just really want to remain on a path towards true reconciliation. My W said more than a few times how great it was to be talking and thinking of me. I think she is showing interest because I'm not always there, but I'm really confused as to why she lacks attraction. Well, if I honestly think about it, I'm not really confused at all. I'm so available to her. Anyhow, where do I go from here? As I wrote, I really feel horrible if I've neglected the 180 work I was putting in. I know this might be really screwed up, but I'm just confused and trying to play it out the right way, with the goal being our mutual work towards making our marriage work again. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
