Welcome to our community. Holiday weekends are slow, so don't give up if responses to your post don't come as quickly as you'd like.
I'm going to cut to the chase here. You must let go of him. The more you try to keep him, the harder he pull away. He wants freedom. Until he feels that you have totally set him free, your M won't stand a chance.
That's probably not what you expected to hear, right? But you will hear this advice from those of us who have been around here for a few years.
He did love you! He still does! But, he's going through something that you can't fix. B/c his emotional pain is so big, he is desperately trying to find an escape. Unfortunately, he thinks leaving his M will help him to breathe. He doesn't know what he wants. But the more you fight him, the more he will want out.
Am I saying you should go file for a D? No, but I'm saying to leave him alone. You don't realize it, but even if he's not in an A with this OW, your clingy ways will cause him to justify having one. Right now, you are the blame for all his unhappiness. Now, we know that's not the case, but that's what he thinks.
You have to think of "fighting for your marriage" in a different way. The way you have been doing has resulted in choking him out of the MR. When women do that, they don't appear very attractive to the man, no matter how beautiful she may be.
You have a lot ahead of you, but know this.....we are here to support you, if you'll stick with us. I encourage you to post every day b/c that will help build a support group and keep us updated.
Do have children? Do you work outside the home?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
