Glad the trip went well, and your feelings of resentment are normal...lol...I have had thoughts of resentment lately now that I seem to be slowly getting to where I wanted to be...for me it is the "after the horrible things you said about/to me..." and "you know this situation has affected my job, my health, the kids..." "you broke my heart, and cheated on me"...etc etc.
Let the resentment go...for your sake, you're better and stronger than that (I remind myself of this whenever those resentful feelings surface...).
Some thoughts:
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Then he sends me a picture of article in the paper!
He is providing proof...he recognizes he has made excuses/played games in the past...he is really looking at you and your perception of him...he wants to fix that. Why? Only he knows atm.
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For this is a place he and I have never stopped butting heads. He never can come right out and ask for something that means alot to him, it has to be "worked up" into something he wants it to be, or if he manipulates ( good or bad) the situation enough he then gets what he wants.
KD and AJ were right on and very perceptive, and will be banished from the manly kingdom for revealing secrets (if we ever trace their true identities...)
I would like to add that the is also a FEAR of REJECTION that swims large from childhood...and...the strongest lesson is SEX, and how to get it...bear with me here...
What many of us men learn is that in order to get what we REALLY want (sex), we cannot be direct about it, as women tend to need an indirect approach. I don't know about any other men, but me being direct and saying, "Honey, I am horny, I want sex. Let's go do it now, please" has never worked...so I don't use the direct approach...doesn't work usually, so therefore a higher risk of rejection.
What HAS worked, is some sweet talking, a touch or two, maybe fixing that dripping faucet finally, taking out the garbage, some innuendos circling around what I REALLY want, etc...lower risk of rejection, since it has worked in the past, and IF rejected, well we don't have to let on that we really wanted sex that much, or whatever.
So, since guys like to generalize skills across situations, I mean, its bred into us, if the tactics to hunt deer successfully work, we bet they can be applied to hunting elk as well...or rabbits...if they don't work for rabbits, we make note and group rabbits and rabbit-like creatures into "Tactics Group "B""...you see?
So things we REALLY want, get the same Tactic Grouping as sex. Ask yourself K, if H had (after the honeymoon phase) directly asked for sex, what would your response have most likely been a lot of the time? And that response is fine, we know it takes a bit more to get our wives "going"...but see how the indirect approach to things we REALLY want is/can be in the top tray of our toolbox? It all starts with asking a girl to dance, or hold hands, or kiss...
I guess I am out of the club now too...
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Maybe he really is trying to respect me and give me some space yet he really needs to know he's doing something right.
YES. Make of what you will, considering mlc clarity comes and goes. BUT, he is caring about you and what you think, and for now, the self-absorption has receded. If my readings here and elsewhere are correct, then this could be a sign of beginning to leave the tunnel...my W is doing the same thing, btw. She asked be about my day for the first time in a year now...and yes, I am a bit nervous that my hopes will be dashed by another dive back in to the tunnel...but it IS nice to see her again...
Enjoy it as it is, what it is, no expectations... (I am so tired of saying that to myself...lol)
T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
