Did you ask your attorney if it would be advisable for you and the boys to move out?
I normally do NOT recommend this (as it's preferable to take a "I didn't do anything wrong; if you're uncomfortable here, then YOU need to leave" stance), but since your husband has repeatedly refused to leave, and now very likely has been ADVISED not to by his attorney, I think you should consider this. I have read some approaches where the shock of an empty house, devoid of their spouse, kids, and the kids' toys/clothes/hobbies and such can make a real impact on a wayward spouse who is sitting on the fence.
Something to consider. Do NOT leave yourself, WITHOUT your kids (could be legally considered "abandonment"), and I know you wouldn't do that anyway. And do NOT do this without first consulting with your atty.
And yes, I do agree that you need to separate yourselves and your finances now, as you figure out your next steps. Your husband needs to learn to MISS you, and needs time on his own to figure out if he is really committed to doing the things necessary to build a new marriage with you. Any good IC worth their salt will tell him that THIS DECISION-MAKING PERIOD SHOULD BE MADE WITHOUT THE INFLUENCE OF A 3RD PERSON, but that's going to be entirely up to him. All YOU an do is figure out what YOUR boundaries are . . . your "Non-Negotiable Boundaries of Personal Integrity," and communicate them firmly and lovingly to your husband.
