Sorry to hear about that. Right now there isn't anything you can do. I would get some legal representation so that they get a snapshot of your finances just so he doesn't start abusing the money. You could end up with nothing.
There's something seriously wrong with your H. Whether it's a sex addiction or whatever, if you start to push him about these findings, he'll fight back out of shame and anger.
I know you feel bad like maybe you weren't enough for him or whatever, but you have to understand that there is something broken inside of him and not you.
Right now he's letting his addiction get the best of him. Sometimes they just have to go through this and hit rock bottom. Meanwhile, do things to continue to rebuild your self-esteem.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
JK, I want to help him come out pf this. I do not want him to make him sorry or feel ashamed... I just want to help him stop this...
MrBond, at first I thought about that. Last night I haven't slept at all, I was thinking whether my whole marriage or (even worse) my 12 year R was a big lie. Then I realised that it is not about me. It is about him. He has OW, but she is not enough. He still needs to get admiration and reassurance from the web... Is this normal? Is he a sex addict? Or a narcissist? Sometimes I get angry with myself. He has put me through a lot these 8 months. But even with all these, I still want to help him. I want him to know that I am there for him. What is wrong with me?
Me: BW 30 Him: WH 31 T 12 years, M 3.5 No kids OW 27 single ex co-worker
Bomb: 13/07/2011 S: 13/07/2011 - 16/09/2011 H came Home 16/09/2011 Dday: 01/10/2011 H left again 23/11/2011
Forgot to mention that all these years he hasn't given my any signs to get suspicious... All his moves were clear, he was at home most of the time. And now I found out about him living a second life... Was he such an actor? Or am I such a fool?
Me: BW 30 Him: WH 31 T 12 years, M 3.5 No kids OW 27 single ex co-worker
Bomb: 13/07/2011 S: 13/07/2011 - 16/09/2011 H came Home 16/09/2011 Dday: 01/10/2011 H left again 23/11/2011
Again, there's nothing wrong with you and you're not a fool. He did a good job fooling you. It doesn't mean that you're a fool. You can analyze it to death, but the bottomline is that he is the only one who knows why he's doing what he's doing. He might not even know why he's doing things himself.
As hard as things are right now, you have to 'let go'.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I must stop snooping... It doesn't do me any good. This morning I have realised that I was happier when I didn't know... Does it matter that I was his only girl (at least officially...)?
Having realised that he may wants to "live" his life rather than stay with one woman? Well, he was obsessed with the Californication TV show...
Also, being happy that he still does that to the OW does it make me a bad person? I am happy that she does not satisfy him 100% and he needs to search online to be satisfied. I am relieved, as she is not that perfect after all...
Me: BW 30 Him: WH 31 T 12 years, M 3.5 No kids OW 27 single ex co-worker
Bomb: 13/07/2011 S: 13/07/2011 - 16/09/2011 H came Home 16/09/2011 Dday: 01/10/2011 H left again 23/11/2011
I have a friend who discovered her husband was living a "secret life". Her therapist told her he qualified as someone with Anti-social behavior, a certain type of personality disorder, maybe you should look that up? Sorry about your situation, that sounds rough.
Better days are ahead....
M 37, H 37 M 10, T 12 S 4 D 2 3/14/12 ILYBNILWY 4/2/12 H consults a L, files nothing 4/26/12 H moves to his new place
Yes, he was. His secret life was related to internet sex activities as well. She filed for divorce, and wants one because he can't see why it's a problem. She is getting on with her life, raising her 3 kids and he is out living it up.
M 37, H 37 M 10, T 12 S 4 D 2 3/14/12 ILYBNILWY 4/2/12 H consults a L, files nothing 4/26/12 H moves to his new place
I am feeling really down... Last week I met with my priest. It is a procedure that we have to follow regarding D, our church tries to see if there is any chance we can R. Our priest told me that by the way I was speaking about my H he understood that I still love him. I got very emotional on this. He then told me that he will try to speak to my H. He also told me that they had arranged a meeting, but H didn't show up and that when he tried to call him, my H didn;t answer the phone. Very strange behaviour, my H was always repsectful of our church (but not very close)... It is like he is a totally different person... Then H's L called the priest and told him that since H is determined to D, he cannot see any reason for this meeting. I am very disappointed. I was crying all the way back home... I didn't expect such a reaction from H...
Last week was H's birthday. I managed not to contact him (thanks guys for helping me with that).
I have been reading other sitches and I can see that mine is so messed up, that I cannot see any way out, except D... I am very disappointed. Thanks to all of you that are reading my sitch, I really appreciate it... Thanks for all the advice and your input...
Me: BW 30 Him: WH 31 T 12 years, M 3.5 No kids OW 27 single ex co-worker
Bomb: 13/07/2011 S: 13/07/2011 - 16/09/2011 H came Home 16/09/2011 Dday: 01/10/2011 H left again 23/11/2011
I have another question... What is the possibility of reconciliation with a sex addict? Is there any chance? Did I contribute to this problem? I am struggling to find out why he has turned into cyber sex / porn activities... I believe that we had a good sexual life and we were always open to discuss new ides / fantasies...
Also, am I a bad person being happy that he stills continues these activities while he is with the OW? I am somehow feeling relieved and happy that she is not enough for him either...
Me: BW 30 Him: WH 31 T 12 years, M 3.5 No kids OW 27 single ex co-worker
Bomb: 13/07/2011 S: 13/07/2011 - 16/09/2011 H came Home 16/09/2011 Dday: 01/10/2011 H left again 23/11/2011
