i'm sorry you find yourself here.. but you're in good company.
my kids are quite a bit younger but essentially.. we all struggle w/ similar things. you've been given some really good advice. i can't reiterate enough that you can only control your own choices. if you're a fixer like me.. this can be so very difficult!
as for the finances.. it seems a bit demeaning to you to have to provide receipts. have you thought about a separation agreement and at least ensure your financial security as well as the children's? you are the primary caregiver and are entitled to financial support. unless you have agreed otherwise.
it's true.. you are not responsible for H's relationship with the kids. and i know it is so incredibly heartbreaking to see them in pain. but anything you say to H may be seen as manipulating or guilt tripping. that was the same way w/ my H. S5 would ask these questions and never mention it to H. now.. months later.. he has started asking H "why don't you live here anymore?".. and saying "i want you to stay here!". also getting noticeably upset. i think those words directly from S has been way more powerful than anything i could have said or done.
and GAL!! sometimes hard w/ kids. but.. maybe there's a new hobby you want to take up? youtube has some great tutorials. play around w/ makeup and get a new look? (i tried a smokey eye and ended up looking like a raccoon).
hang in there! sorry.. my post may be all over the place. i type.. tend to the kids.. continue my thought later.. get interrupted again.. sigh. lol!
Me:38.. H:33. Two beautiful kids S:6 D:3 M:8.. together for 11. Bomb dropped:10/17/11 Separated:11/07/11
