I have detached- that's my specialty. There's no question I continue to do what makes me happy regardless of his reaction.
I have said F it... I've moved passed caring what he thinks about my actions. We went to watch an Irish rock band for St. Paddy's day (and S's birthday), I dance, I sang... he stands there and complains about the cold. And I mean, I dance... I can Irish step, so can S's girlfriend so we had a blast.
I don't join him in the negativity, I know he's going to be a fuddy duddy, but I still skip, dance, have fun. I have cleaned in my undies- no effect. I've slept with pillows between us, no effect. I've slept naked, no effect. It honestly and truly doesn't matter what I do, or change H is still the same.
I do busy myself and avoid his crazy when possible. I work, I have fun with the kids shopping or playing, etc. I am back in school so I spend a ton of time writing my papers and researching for my dissertation. I'll pack the kids off to the library with me. I blare music and sing while I write...
I know I have changed- I guess that's why I'm at the point I am. I've changed so much, that I can't keep going down this road. It has to end.
I do find happiness outside the M (and with the kiddos)- and I'm accused of having affairs. Oh ya, he's a real doozie. I know he stops in on my study groups to make sure I'm really there and not sleeping with someone (despite the fact I have never had an affair, ever; even when we were split)
Oh, we have tried those date nights, just us, no kids.... he talked on his phone most of the night.
I even think I'm to the point where it's not even ILYBINILWY, it's just I want a D and I'll be civil and polite, but we're not even at the friend level anymore, let alone ILY.
