"IF"

[workinghardguy]

Do it because it's something you need Gunny. Don't take care of her... even if this is something she wants that doesn't mean it's your job.

If you want to end the uncertainty, avoid the difficulties of divorcing in another state, legally protect yourself... then do it. Those are all valid reasons. Heck, just saying your done with this cr*p and it's time to move on is valid too. We all have our limits.

But she's not an invalid... if her highest priority really was divorcing then she would have. Clearly it's not her highest priority. This is not the same as saying she doesn't want it... she may still want it, it's just not high enough on the to do list. Perhaps it's financial. Or she's fine with things they way they are. Maybe she likes having her marriage as a safety net... after all if it all falls apart she is still married, right? Or maybe setting up a new life is really hard and crazy, and she just hasn't had time or is overwhelmed. Who the heck knows?

But if you feel like it brings you to a better spot then you should feel free to do it. It's just a transitory state... only when you really move on and completely close the book is it over. Divorce is just a legal step.