I just want to add my back story if you don't know...
So here I was... when W and I got M, I was an independent consultant. My schedule and my earnings fit well into our R. Her schedule and her earning stability complimented, or rather supported our R and I supplemented. But... I was able to be flexible to the needs of (at the time, D14 and then soon, D9)...
Any time that my W would stress her desire that I get "a real job", that real job interfered with her desire for my flexibility (ie. I had to work weekends, or 12 hour shifts, or graveyard)... so I would go back to independent work...
About five years ago, my W began the job pressure again... So at this point, D9 was 4. This was more of the same and I expected the same results in the past, so I tried to do more by way of independent earnings... but again, this began to interfere with my W's desire to have me at her beck and call... she'd say that I functioned in the family when it was convenient for me... I see things a little different and when she needed me, I'd sacrifice earnings and the loss of customers, in order to conform with her schedule...
So as the pressure built, I finally came across an opportunity that, while it was hard work and did keep me away a lot of hours, I was still able to staff so I was able to maintain some flexibility... in my eyes, it was a happy medium...
It wasn't what she wanted, but rather than do the same thing in response to her requests, I admit I made an executive decision that served a number of mutual goals...
I changed the sitch... and the sitch changed... dramatically...
At that point, that is when my W decided to GAL... and her GAL activities began to... specifically and pointedly, my W let me know... exclude me... to which followed, six months later or so... the bomb drop... and that's when I stood up and noticed and became the behavioural role of the LBS...
What's the point of saying this to you?
Well, the reality was that neither my W and myself were happy. Rather than following the same pattern, I chose to do something different, even as it stayed within the parameters and core of whom I am...
and then... many choices were made... by both my W and myself... that were based on that change I made in our sitch...
The choices and changes that we both made were destructive to our M. We both could have chose to change in constructive, M friendly ways... but that was not the case...
So if you choose to do something different... and I do hope you do, or you too will join crazy... lol... I do hope that the choices that you make, first and foremost serve you... but secondarily... that the choices you make after that fact are M friendly... even if your H may make different choices...
