Outside the Scope of This Report 4

[WenikiTiki]

Hey Labug! I am an on again/off again country fan. So there are a lot of songs I don't know. I'll look for that one.

My steps are funny right now!

Beatrice: I am getting the MLC thing. I am just making him a space separate from mine. I am trying to do this in a loving way. Get the distance and elbow room I need, without being mean to him.

I am trying to protect myself. I can't keep on with the farce of sitting and watching TV with him. I don't want to eat meals with him. He puts me in a postion of me having to tell him to leave. Which seems odd after he has told me so many times that we are done.

So now I will be watching TV in the formal living room. I get that he doesn't give a rats a$$ about anything. If he cared at all then he wouldn't have done the hundreds of mean, thoughless things he has done in the past 18 months.

The way it was before each morning I was in the place where he needed to be to get ready for work. I tend to wake up earlier than him. So this way I can get up when I normally do, get my tea, and then go back upstairs to my room and completely not see him. I felt like a puppy dog just watching him get ready for work.

I don't think he will have an awakening. Each of the 7 times he has "come back" to me it seems to get easier for him to switch back. I do one thing he doesn't like, and BAM, back to her.

He doesn't have any conflict resolution skills, he doesn't know how to even have a discussion. He really is emotionally and socailly very stunted. I always thought he would grow up and become more like his father. He really never did grow since the day we married.

I remember when we were dating teaching him how to have a conversation. I told him it is like a came of catch. You catch the ball then throw it back. With him it is a game of throw.

And when we are in a group of people having a talk, even if he has something to say, it always is that he rarely gets any words out. He has a look on his face, he wants to say something, but he doesn't know how to enter the conversation.

So he is in love with OW. And doesn't even know how to have a conversation. I give up. Yes, we can do a lot of stuff non-verbally. But to ever get our relationship fixed, at some point some words would have to transpire.

And if EVERYTIME we do talk he views it as an evil horrible thing, then we will never fix this.

So I am not putting myself through that wringer again. He doesn't know what he wants. He wants both me and her. And her T.T. Fairy Dust is some strong stuff. So, I might sound like I have hope, but I really don't.