Stuck in Holding Pattern

[ben11]

So it's been a little under 2 weeks since the W and I agreed to 'reset' and start working on R.

For the most part, it's been a much better couple of weeks. We have had constant daily communication, mainly over TM, and have had a couple short phone calls, both initiated by me.

We're definitely behind though in our face-to-face meetings. We were both supposed to initiate a 2-3 hour 'meeting' and so far we've only done 2. In fairness, she was training for a new job which included a flight-test so she didn't have much time. We'll see if anything happens in the last bit of this week.

As I kind of expected, I may have raced a bit too far in front of her. Last night over TM, I asked her how the rest of her week was going. She said she was busy the next few days, but didn't mention Sat. I asked if she wanted to get together Sat and she said 'Perhaps'. I asked her 'What does perhaps mean? :P' and she said 'It means perhaps'.

Not sure if this was right or not, but I decided I wanted to find out if she was feeling like I was pushing much. After an hour went by, and a few other messages with light banter went back and forth, I stuck my neck out a bit:
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Me: Can I ask you something? Am I pushing this too much? As in, moving to fast... expecting things too soon?

Her: Its just unfamiliar. We've gone so long without being a part of eachothers lives. Now trying to reintroduce it just feels unnatural at times.

Me: I understand. I'll ease it back. I dont want to push you out of your comfort zone. I get that this can be weird and I dont want to make it worse. I got a little over excited with all your attention I guess

Her: Ahhh I get it. I've just become so accustomed to a certain lifestyle and it's sometimes hard to break from that. I've been used to doing what I want, with who I want, whenever I want, and not having someone to answer to.

Me: I totally get it. I really do.

Her: Anyways, bedtime for me. Good night

Me: Ill just stick with our plan we talked about with MC and not worry about the rest. Have a good sleep. Talk to you tomorrow.
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I feel a bit like a dog being smacked on the nose by a rolled up newspaper. I get where shes coming from, I kind of expected I would make this mistake, but it still sukks.

On the positive side, she was very honest with me about her feelings which I don't feel she would've done a few months ago. Before it would be 'I dont know how I feel' or just 'I dont know'. Trying to focus on the silver lining.

Texted her this morning as part of our reset plan to say good morning and to wish her a good day. She responded positively and reciprocated with a positive note.

I think I need to dial it back and let her take the lead a little more.