I guess I can be here now

[KenF]

i think the point is you should be better than that.

beating the crap out of your spouse may feel good and you found a way to justify it.

writing letters to someone wishing dead babies upon them feels good.

in the exact same way that having an affair feels good and can be easily justified.

its all the same.

no one ever said you're not entitled to feel anger. my x was sleeping with her boss while we were married, i'd stay home with the baby while she lied about who she was with until 4am, claiming i made her do it and it was all my fault, telling people i was abusive, x moves my daughter into his house, they're now engaged and x tells my daughter to call that same a-hole her step-father, and i have to bite my tongue every time i listen to my daughter talk about him.

so trust me, everyone here understands anger.

and none of this is how anyone dreamed it would be.

the issue now isnt her, or his lying. not anymore. the issue here is that you need to get over your anger. even if he would do everything you wanted, your anger would screw it all up. you've spent the last post justifying your childish, over the top email, when you should have simply admitted it was wrong and written in anger.

i think you're losing control, you're letting this consume you and turn you into someone you shouldn't be. you're in self-destruct mode and it'll end up being you killing the marriage. maybe that's what you want at this point, and that's your decision, but if it is, then man-up and take responsibility for it.

reality never lives up to childhood dreams. never. get used to that, or you'll have a life of disappointments.