I haven't post for a long time. There is no update in my sitch, I haven't spoken to my H since 13/03. No contact at all. I am trying to GAL as much as possible. This is having results, as some close frineds that I met last weekend commented on how good I look and that I seem happy and toned. I am trying my best to keep the positive attitude. Sometimes I cry, mostly while driving back home. I am still living with my parents. I try to seem happy in front of them, as I do not want them to be sad for me. I am constantly thinking the "faking until you make it" DB principle... Last week I slipped and I snooped into my H's bank account. I know it is against DB principles... So go ahead, tell me what you have to tell me... I have been making great efforts not to snoop or stalk him. I must say that I have managed to reduce this, but I am still not happy with myself as there are still times that I snoop... This is the one thing noted in my calendar that I need to address. So, back on my findings, I have seen some strange charges and money tranfers to emails of small amounts. On the notes he was adding a website with a nickname. I typed the website address and this is a website for cyber sex, where people connect their web cameras and they broadcast live what they do... I searched for the username in the paypal notes and I realised that my H has an account on that site... He even has pictures (showing only his naked body - no face, but I can identify my H's body 100%). I was shocked and devastated. This activity has been going on since 01/2011. Maybe earlier, I do not know... He even broadcasts himself... I then googled this nickname and I have found that he has subscriptions on many websites. Websites for cybersex, websites where people subscribe for one night stands, etc... I am really devastated. How can I be so naive? Was I such a fool? I was trusting him 100%... I never searched his things/mobile phone/etc... For how long has he been doing this? Is he a sex addict? I do not know what to do... Why am I such a fool? I have found these terrible things and I still feel sorry for him. I want to help him. Even if we do not end together, I want to help him... I know that I cannot fix him... But is there anything I can do? Please please help me, I am desperate...
Me: BW 30 Him: WH 31 T 12 years, M 3.5 No kids OW 27 single ex co-worker
Bomb: 13/07/2011 S: 13/07/2011 - 16/09/2011 H came Home 16/09/2011 Dday: 01/10/2011 H left again 23/11/2011
