My Story So Far. Is this even worth saving?

[timbits]

not sure what he's expecting from me. he shows remorse and guilt for what happened, but i can't just accept it and move on so quickly. i mean, every time he has anxiety, it's a reminder.

we got into an argument the other day when the proof for his book came out. it's the final proof and he has to make the final changes before it goes to printing. i looked at the acknowledgments and she was there. i told him i wanted him to remove her. he didn't think he could at the time and said that i was ruining this experience for him. i got really mad, said that every time i looked at the book, i'd be reminded of her. to be fair, there were a LOT of them there and i was the first, but i just didn't think it was right that she be memorialized in print.

he has since found out that he can remove her name (change anything, really) and told me that he would. i feel better about that.

we had a long conversation about it last night. he said that it wasn't so much that he was attracted to her, but he didn't have a history with her and could create an alter-ego and be whomever he wanted to be because she doesn't know him. he said that he was sick of being the same old anxious h. i told him that he has anxiety and other issues and that unless he gets to the root cause, he'll never get over it. he kept saying that when he was with her, he was a different person and that it felt like he was cured. i told him that if he was cured, he wouldn't be having the problems he has now. he agreed that it was mainly about ego-stroking and that he feels like such an idiot now. he said when he saw her the other day, he couldn't stop thinking, "i was going to throw away my family for HER?" he said that he never wants to see OW again. he feels very ashamed for what happened.

i feel like this is a good thing. he finally acknowledged that it was an affair. he had a hard time admitting it, he knew it was inappropriate, but said that it wasn't like an affair you see in the movies. i don't care. i told him that when you put another woman's feelings and needs above your wife's, it's an affair. he's finally getting that and not being defensive about it anymore.

i think we're going to be ok, but i have to process this. we have mc today. wish me luck.