Good friend of mine (family bought our farm a dozen years ago) D'd from his W. Ugly split. Luckily farm was incorporated so no major loss there. She was in an A. Unlikely to see a reconciliation there.
A brother of his split from his W. HE was the WAS with an A. Bought her a house in town. Two years later, they are back together... I figure he was a bit MLC as well.
Crazy stuff...
Being focused on working can help, but then there's the times when there's nothing to do but think. All I can recommend there is, don't self medicate with alcohol... seen too much of that around here, too...
Do you have anyone who is supportive of you trying to work things out with your W? It could be very helpful for you during this time.
Not the ones who tell you to let her go and how she was no good anyhow... I mean the ones that understand that you want to stand and work it out... and also, be careful for members of the opposite sex who might seem an attractive "shoulder" to cry on... big danger, there...
I have evidence of a possible physical A, and lots of evidence of emotional As... but in the end... I figure I can forgive it...
here's the thing that you might need to wrap your head around...
You may NEVER know for sure and you might never get an apology if you suspect...
It appears that quite often, the WAS is so far "gone" that they don't recognize an A as doing something wrong, because in their mind, the M is over... so in their mind... they aren't cheating...
Anyhow, if you can... and since you think you can forgive it if it did happen, and has ended or will end, then don't think about it. Just work on you. Do the work as prescribed by the DR book.
And as mentioned before, keep posting here as you can and feel you need to. We will support you and we will challenge you, but we WILL help you through this.
