There is one thing I really found helpful in understanding how passive aggressiveness works. I suggest you search for The Three Faces of Victim, An Overview of the Drama Triangle on the internet. In that one article is a wealth of information on the dynamic.
labug is correct in that if your spouse is P/A only he can change that about him. He has to choose not to be anyone's victim. That means accountability, and for many being accountable for their choices, behaviour and decisions is scary.
This information was unbelievable- I kept re-reading it all day. We are definitely on the triangle, for me knowledge is power because now that I know what the dynamic is I can change my part. Any other information on the subject you have would be great. My IC (who is also our MC) is having me read things on gas lighting behaviors because she feels I am the "patient" in the relationship in his mind. It is hard to find information on Passive aggressive behaviors. I had such a great session today. it was a joint session but I am feeling stronger and it shows. It helps to have support and kinship on this site, because then he isn't seeing me as this begging, pleading, person who needs him to live. I really do want to work on myself and have a healthy marriage, I don't want to go back to how it was after my eyes have been opened to the dysfunction. Thanks for all you advice and encouraging words.
M 37, H 37 M 10, T 12 S 4 D 2 3/14/12 ILYBNILWY 4/2/12 H consults a L, files nothing 4/26/12 H moves to his new place
