@ Grace - Getting the strength is a process. When we set out to change ourselves.. we just don't immediately make the change. There are failures and success. There are moments of anger and happiness..
...in the end it's not about reaching our goal... it's about our journey to it.
Journaling -
I touched base with my tax person and I was informed I do not have to file married with my w. I can file for myself and avoid the headache.
I'm so relieved. I'm not sure what this process is.. but the stress continues to come off my shoulders. My mind thinks less and less about my w and more and more about my new life and all the great things about it.
I have gotten back most of my appetite and no longer have chunks of hair in my hands in the shower. I will take these both as positive signs.
While on the phone with my tax person, I thought to myself that I should let w know that I will be filing separately. After all I did tell her that I would let her know once I got all my info...
However that conversation was based off different info.
It's better for me to remain dark. It's been so nice to not have her consume my thoughts. I want to wait until all the checks are final and only see her once... although preferably not at all.
The distance is necessary for me to heal.
So I go back to the same ole dilemma.
Do I be considerate of her or do I chose myself?
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
