i have no idea what happened... one day she just said "i don't have to live with you" and that was it. of course, that is her choice...she didn't have to. we vowed to be together, always and she swore to follow me to the ends of the universe and beyond. seems the universe got a whole lot smaller and "forever" is not nearly as long as i thought.
i don't want to think bad things about her, it makes me feel bad too. if there was something that i could do more than what i have, i'd do it.
we had our ups and downs and most of our issues were related to crap that happened to us in our childhood that we never had resolved till we met each other and, i suppose, once that happened neither of us felt like we had to work on those things.
we were wrong. i've been healing and recovering for more than a year now and she hasn't been and that makes it harder for her to ignore what is going on with her and, in some way, makes it hard for her to be with me.
i miss her and my family so much but i'm worth more than that, i'm not a piece of garbage to be thrown away. i was willing to do whatever i could to make it work and, ultimately, she was not. perhaps some day she'll come to realize what she threw away but by then i don't know if i'd be able to go back...and that makes me profoundly sad.
