As has often been pointed out, when people tell us things that don't feel true, we easily brush them off. When there seems to be some truth in them, they sting.
One possible change would be to joke back--"Yup, let me know if the pants actually split," "You know, it doesn't seem fair that I keep getting older while you've stopped aging"--whatever appeals to your sense of humour.
The second issue is that he's deliberately pushing your buttons, and it's hurtful to feel that coming from someone we love. Perhaps turn it back on him: "That sounds like a grumpy comment--anything bad happen today?" "Sounds like you're frustrated/trying to push my buttons--is there anything you'd like to talk about?" If he sees you can't be rattled, and remain good-humoured and calm, he's likely to give up on the PA tactics.
Eventually, you want to get to the point where you can have a completely honest conversation with your H ("When you say ____ it makes me feel ____.") but you may not be ready for that yet.
