i haven't "allowed " him to come over and do a lot these past few months, even though he has constantly offered - now i'm allowing it. he seems more relaxed - i think i'll continue to do that....
...i have been trying so hard to follow the advice you wrote me a couple of weeks ago - letting the universe allow things to happen naturally in their own time - wrote it out and read it several times a day, but am still having moments when the doubts return and then i realize that i am not allowing.
I did the same thing Zig. The pain was too strong when he said he was "Done." I cried everyday. My mother became exhausted listening to me everyday analysing everything to death. My friends as well. I picked everything apart even if there were only bones left! I actually let my H come over for the first 4 weeks, - purely platonic. I was hoping it would help. His therapist told him not to have sex with me as it would confuse matters.
After about 4 weeks of that, my heart couldn't take it anymore so I asked him to stop coming over. At first he was distraught, and came over immediately to discuss him not coming over anymore. Even bought me some stuff. Anyway, I didn't give in - no romance, none of this, "I just want to be friends" business, no cake-eating - sorry not for me. I want the whole package please - nothing less will do. He then started going cold, like really cold.
Of course I was plagued with doubt about whether I was doing the right thing. Worried that he would put his energy elsewhere - and I tell you that I am pretty certain there is at the very least an EA going on somewhere, perhaps even before this whole thing started. If I ever find out who it is, I will crush her - in the nicest possible way of course . No one f**** with a scorpio moon woman.
Then I found DB, and I started to follow the advice there. They weren't natural at first, but they made sense.
Looking back now, had I had DB earlier, I would have carried on allowing him to come over - but just with a different perspective and understanding about what he is really doing so I wouldn't feel so rejected and hurt anymore. I see now that friends means no commitment, a "let's see how it goes" kind of thing. So, now I am just allowing him to do these little things here and there - and like you - he does seem to be more relaxed about it.
One time recently he was over, his phone buzzed from a text msg. Granted we were talking about finances, so it was a touchy subject. Still, he pulls out his phone and says to the phone, "What do you want now!!" He caught himself and said, "It's just a colleague." What, on a Saturday afternoon, I thought? Yeah, whatever. That's when it hit me that *she* was already getting on his nerves - so I will let that one play out all by itself.
Don't give yourself a hard time like I did about shutting him off. It was for my own sake and wellbeing that I had to do it, and I'm sure you did it for those reasons as well. For me an added reason was that I wanted to snap him out of his funk a bit. It didn't work. He just grew colder. HOWEVER! The benefit is that it gave me breathing space, and so I wasn't a quivering mess everytime I saw him.
As time has passed, the doubt has subsided - but still knocks me on the side of my head every so often. My feet are still firmly planted though.
You are directing your own show now Zig. Doubt can just take a back seat - there are more important things to deal with. The universe is so much more powerful than any doubt. Open your heart to the universe (God, the light, whatever you want to call it) because that is who your partner is now - and probably should be for the rest of your life. Keep it simple for yourself. Your only job now is your wellbeing.
I don't know where I'll end up on this journey - but it is certainly interesting and I am learning a whole hell of a lot.
. No one f**** with a scorpio moon woman. 
