We sometimes spend a lot of time and energy on trying to figure out just what's wrong with the WAS when that energy would be better spent on working on ourselves.
You will always have you, you may or may not have H. You can't control anyone but yourself. Set your goals for you and work toward that. Read DB/DR and use the tools it provides. Don't turn it into a chess game, countering moves. Make changes that make you a better person, no matter the outcome.
the first sentence - oh i wish i'd realized that months ago, but finally i'm there now - it is the most pivotal change for me in my switch - to turn the focus on myself and much much less on him. wish i'd known this at the beginning - or always for that matter!
love what you wrote labug - thanks
zig
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
