I wanted to let you know that I feel Im in the same position as you lately.
My stbx actions appeared to be that perhaps he wanted to try and be friends again. We've had pretty pleasant exchanges, but I told myself to just stay back and monitor.
Sure enough here we are and he's going right back to where he was 3 months ago. He appears irritable, Won't speak to me in person now, no eye contact, and only short text messages. A few weeks ago he was talking to me in person in the driveway and asking so pitifully if he could get time with his kids. I question if it got back to him that his kind behavior made me uncomfortable via my brother in law so he's decided to be act this way. And if it did, oh well he did me a favor. Im sorry being friends after a 20+ relationship, yeah sure.
yes in a way I think them wanting to be friends is their way to try to make themselves feel better. Feel better that yes they can check in and see if we're still where they left us, and some sort of self serving act that if they're "friends" to us, it somehow makes the pain that was inflicted upon us by their actions VOID.
You know what Tad, I've decided to keep the distance with stbx. Not enough water has gone under the bridge for me to his friend. And there may never been enough water under the bridge.
Besides the truth of it all is that we really don't want to be just friends with our ex spouses do we?
Yes we want to be friends, but friends as a married couple again. Alot of time, healing, reflection and water under the bridge would have to go by in order for us to be just friends with our ex's.
