The tips will work for many people, but not all. It may be that in Michael2691's case, as appears to be my case as well, all of the steps have been performed many times. And so it isn't always effective to say, "if it didn't work, go back to step 1 and repeat".
The problem is the assumption that a sexless marriage always implies a dysfunction with either partner. Sure, the marrriage might be considered dysfunctional, but the cause may be only the mismatch. Otherwise, why is it not considered a dysfunction if two married people have agreed not to have sex? Or why is a woman living alone, successful in her career and happy with friends, but not having a relationship and no sex, not considered dysfunctional?
What have I done to seduce my wife? If it were that simple, I wouldn't be on this forum.
SSM,
I'm confused by your comments. You come onto a forum for sex starved marriage , and your screen name contains those initials, which suggests you have a concern about the issue in your life.
You say you are a high sex drive partner and your wife is very low drive. To many people - that seems like a conflict. You also say your w denies having ANY sex drive,
and that you two have not had sexual intimacy for several years...to many people that seems like a big problem and for some, it's a deal breaker.
You seem to admit that it is dysfuntional.
But you state you & your w are quite happy "otherwise".
If we suggest your marriage or sex life needs work, you bristle at the idea and state that "sex isn't everything"...
but again, you are here on the "sex starved forum" indicating it is something to you.
People make suggestions and you reject them, stating that "nothing has worked", except leaving her, as you once did, which resulted in a short term change in her behavior.
No offense, but why are you here? Is it that you want to see others discuss sex?
Do you want us to validate whatever it is you feel about sex?
I know you don't want us to tell you to quit the marriage (b/c we think sex is such a vital element in marriage),
b/c then you will insist that your marriage is just fine and "perfectly happy-otherwise",
but once again, you are here on THIS sex starved forum... you must want something from this board.
My question is,
if you are going to reject all the advice you get here, which really is what you've done,
is what you are really seeking,
permission to "go ahead and have an affair"?
I'm being totally sincere.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
