"L told her that I was committing "financial abuse" with the way we were handling finances. When she thought about she became livid. I simply listened and validated."
Why on earth would you validate her accusing you of financial abuse? It doesn't matter that you weren't aware of the finances. You just agreed with her that you were committing fraud.
You validate her feelings, not when she accuses you of something that isn't necessarily true. It sounds like the L is getting your W all riled up.
In terms of her accusing you of manipulating the children, that's where you draw the line. When she starts going down that path, hold up your hand, state firmly that you are not manipulating the children and that is something that she is going to have to deal with.
She's still using you as a scapegoat for all her problems. There are times when you have to hit her with a truth dart. I found that when I did that with my W when she was at her worst, it actually made her stop. Be assertive. Be the man.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
