Indecision and the affair continues (part 3)

[Nblost]

Thanks for reaching out ITM.

I'm okay. No real change in my situation. H signed that he had been served the divorce papers last week. He still seems in denial that I'm moving ahead with this.

For me, I'm continuing to try to do positive things:
--Focus on the kids
--Exercise, eat healthy, get rest
--Think about what I want my life to be like in the future
--Do things with family/friends
--Go to church
--Travel--taking the kids on spring break for 4 days next week
--Redecorate a bit in the house

I'm still in contact with the guy I met after H and I decided to separate. Probably not ideal but we see each other every couple weeks and we have fun. It's been great for me to know I can have fun again and there are other fish in the sea.


H continues to travel and work non-stop. He's been back the last three weekends but we've lived pretty separate lives. He still stays in the house but claims he's looking at places (he isn't really). He's gotten the message that we aren't physical or sleeping in the same bed anymore. He is gone this upcoming weekend. If anything, he's "friendlier" and more respectful with me than he's been since this all started last July. He seems very excited when I text him a photo or something about the kids. I do think there might be a chance he's emerging a bit from the affair fog...although even if he does, we have issues and I'm not sure if I want to work on our marriage again or not. I think I only would if he was willing to make some major changes.

I know it bothers H that I'm moving on and pushing him off his fence. It's been hard to stay strong and not "be nice". I'm basically just thinking I'm done and if anything, following the Tough Love advice from James Dobson.

What a journey!

M 43, H 45
D11, D8 and D5
H affair started 8/1/2011
Discovered 9/15/2011
Affair continues
Decided to separate 1/2012
Divorce filed 3/2012