Husband left me...feel hopeless

[Accuray]

Thanks Hopeless in WA, I appreciate it!

HopingAndPraying,

I guess the good news is all the inexplicable behavior on H's part is suddenly easily explained. All the "I need to find myself" stuff was just script -- he's involved with OW and that's what this all comes down to. I'm so sorry it has come down to this, but often "knowing" makes things easier.

Spend some time thinking about what *you* want, there is no wrong answer. If this doesn't work out you will find love again. Try to step outside of your situation and look at it objectively.

If in the end you decide you truly want to move forward with H regardless of what he has done, then you unfortunately need to let the thing with OW run its course. Give space, spend the time to work on you. The best thing you can do for your sitch is:

1) Don't pursue -- don't call, text, or seek him out. Let him initiate everything.
2) Don't escalate -- if he hugs you, hug him back but don't kiss him, etc.
3) Be mysterious -- change things up! Dress differently, get a different haircut, engage in new activities, meet new people, explain nothing to H, make him wonder.
4) Be happy -- "act as if", "fake it until you make it", "get a life". Find things that bring you joy and focus on them.
5) Work on you -- 180 whatever issues you brought to the table, read, learn, figure out what drives you.

That is really it. In many ways you will need to do the opposite of how you feel. This assumes you want to go forward with H and like I said, that's up to you.

Let me know if I can help.

Accuray